November,2017

At this time of year we enter a season of generosity and thanksgiving. According to Wharton economist Adam Grant, being a giver throughout the year leads to greater success in life and work. There is, however, one important disclaimer. If we are givers, but don’t take care of our own needs along the way, we become failed givers. This is a key message in Adam Grant’s book, Give and Take. Here are selected highlights from a review of this book by Kevin Currie, a top rated Amazon book reviewer:

“There are three broad styles of interpersonal dealing: taking, matching, and giving. Takers are those who try to take more than they give. Matchers are those who try to give and take proportaionally and conditionally. Givers are those who give more than they take. Takers are primarily self-oriented, matchers are other-oriented as a means to being self-oriented (I’ll help you when I think you will help me) and givers are primarily other-oriented.

Here’s the counter-intuitive part. If we look at the most successful people – the happiest, the most likely to be promoted, etc – they are generally givers, and if we look at the least successful, they too often tend to be givers. (Takers do moderately well, but over time, few want to deal with them. Matchers do okay too.)

This book is an attempt to explain why being a giver is a good ‘strategy’ for success, as well as under what conditions giving is a failing ‘strategy.’ First, the positive: simply put, people appreciate givers and giving often makes people want to give back. Since givers help others and often put others’ needs as a priority, givers often garner (without deliberately trying – AND THAT IS KEY!) a network of support from others they’ve helped.

Want to communicate most effectively? Ask more questions to others than you give answers, ask for advice, and be aware of how you can help others. Want to bring out the best in people around you? Believe in them by recognizing and appreciating their strengths and contributions. Want to be successful? Don’t think of personal relations as zero-sum games (where others can only win to the degree you lose), but positive sum games (if you win, it doesn’t mean that I lose, but we can all win together.)

It sounds obvious, right? But it isn’t. Even when we may be givers in our personal lives, we often become matchers or takers at work. Even if the success of a giving strategy seems intuitive, it is equally intuitive that getting ahead requires receiving as much as, or more than, you give, spending most of your time working on things that will obviously benefit you, and not spending more time assisting others at work than getting your own stuff done. But Grant cites a growing body of research showing that giving – under the right conditions – really is the best overall ‘strategy.’

Of course, I said “under the right conditions.” What are those conditions? Well, for starters, one must give with some sort of purpose. Those who don’t see some sort of result from their giving often burn out. (So, fundraising telemarketers burn out less when they can talk with those who their efforts have helped, and teachers burn out less when they see what their more successful students go on to do.)

Also, one must give to others and things that the giver is interested in. (Volunteering for projects and to help people I care about is much easier and fun than for those I care little about.) Lastly, one must watch out not to be exploited by takers, who can often seem like givers in their agreeableness, but are exploitative in the end. (And Grant gives some good advice on how to detect real givers versus takers who are good actors.)

So, all of this is what Grant calls ‘otherish giving.’ Giving selflessly versus giving a bit selfishly is, Grant writes, what ultimately separates successful from unsuccessful givers. Give, but make sure one is giving with a sense of purpose, and to people and things one cares about. Give, but not when it comes AT THE EXPENSE of one’s own projects.

I did gain a lot from this book. Not only have I found myself monitoring some of my interpersonal dealings by the advice given in this book, but it has given me insights into what working styles many of my colleagues have (which affects how I deal with them.) Very good book that not only conveys some very interesting research, but should be able to give people some good and usable advice.”

My sincere thanks to Kevin Currie for this excellent review of Adam Grant’s book, Give and Take. I frequently recommend Grant’s teachings in my coaching practice, especially his advice to lead with generosity and self-protection by being otherish. May you give and receive in abundance this holiday season and throughout the coming year.

September, 2017

I recently conducted several workshops on different types of career transformations. The common thread for each session has been three steps in preparing for a significant career change. These steps include assessment, test and learn, and planned happenstance. In this blog I will offer both a preparation roadmap and links to posts that will help you get ready for what is ahead.

Assessment

Danish philosopher, Soren Kierkegaard, once said, “Life is lived forward, but understood backwards.” This quote rings true, not only for helping us understand ourselves, but for helping prospective employers know us better through our stories. Take a look at my June, 2012 blog for a way to look back and document your top eight achievements. You will see a model that asks you to recall the challenges, actions, results, skills, interests, values and lessons learned for each of the top accomplishments you choose.

If you complete this exercise you will have a much better sense of your strengths and preferrences, and your CAR stories (Challenges + Actions + Results.) Prospective employers will always want you to account for your work history, preferably structured in this CAR order. This is true even if your past is quite different from what you will be pursuing in the future.

You will need stories that demonstrate your ability as a quick study who can readily gain new skills and knowledge. Our past helps predict our future. Our adaptibility to past challenges is a key predictor of our ability to succeed in new and different future opportunities. If you have rarely had to make significant shifts in the past, start creating your stories now. Start building a body of evidence that will allow you to counter the skeptics.

If you are searching for future career possiblities, and seeking an assessment to learn of new career options based on your interests, consider the Strong Interest Inventory. An accessible and affordable version of this assessment is available online for under $10 (Self-Directed-Search)

This is a very helpful assessment instrument for any career stage, and for any employment level, from mailroom clerk to CEO. I recently discovered that it is also helpful for ex-military professionals who wish to match civilian occupational titles with military occupational specialty titles.

Using an assessment tool such as the Strong will help you understand your vocational preferences as well as your fit with others who share your interests. It can take you to occupations you may never have considered or found on your own.

I suggest both internet research and conversations with your network and others knowledgable about your possible new direction for assessing the market. In the next section, I will discuss the value of shifting connections to people who occupy the work you are considering. You’ll need to branch out. In a career transformation, you must get beyond the cautions and limitations imposed by your familiar network contacts.

Those who know you well and are cautious themselves, might be inclined to steer you back to familiar, safer choices. What you need as you approach a career transformation is to embrace the spirit of adventure and curiosity, fueled by the encouragement to take risks.

Test and Learn

The three part career transformation model outlined by Herminia Ibarra in her excellent book, Working Identity, offers a progression of actions that are meant to take you out of your head and into the world of experiments and new connections. For a detailed exploration of each, read my November, 2013 blog on crafting experiments, and my December, 2013 blog on shifting connections. Better still, read the book.

After enough time experimenting and tapping new connections for guidance on a new career direction, pause and ask yourself if the transformation you are considering still makes sense. If it does, keep moving ahead. If it doesn’t, it might be time to return to the assessment process for a “plan b” option.

I have referred many clients and friends interested in a career transformation to the Working Identity book. They have universally praised its contents and approach, with comments such as, “This book really emboldened me, gave me a solid process to follow, and expanded my belief in what is possible in my future.”

If you want additional inspiration for becoming a “doer”, not just a “dreamer”, open this link to Shonda Rhimes’ 2014 Dartmouth commencement speech. This is unlike any commencement speech I have ever heard. From the onset, she advocates a different approach to entering the working world after graduation.

Like the students she is addressing, too many of us spend our time dreaming vs doing what we need to do to advance to a transformational opportunity. See for yourself, starting at minute six and ending at minute ten. Be a doer, not just a dreamer.

Planned Happenstance

John Krumboltz, Professor Emeritus of Education and Psychology at Stanford University, described planned happenstance when he said, “A satisfying career — and a satisfying life — is found through actively creating your own luck and making the most of new and unforseen experiences.”

A good friend recently sent me another Krumboltz quote. “If you are undecided about your future (as indeed every sensible person should be) don’t call yourself undecided, call yourself open-minded.”

Most opportunities, especially significant career shifts, are discovered and secured with the help of network sponsors and new connections. You might think that you will be the sole engineer of your career transformation, but think again.

What is in the mind of that person sitting across from you while you are meeting over coffee or a meal is very difficult to know in advance. Surprises that emerge from these conversations are frequently the best part of networking meetings. Unexpected recommendations are often the catalysts we need for our career transformations.

Landing a new job with the direct help of a network sponsor is a 65-80% likelihood. That statistic has not changed in the nearly 30 years I have been a career coach. If most opportunities are tied to your network, and if career transformation is what you want, you will need network sponsors more than ever.

Your evangelists, sponsors, advisors and even casual acquaintences are needed to generate fresh ideas and connections. They are also needed to help reassure others that you are serious about your career transformation, and that this new direction is sustainable and not just a passing “whim”.

Stay open-minded to ideas from others, even the ones that seem far fetched and unlikely. Treasure their support, knowing that all the planning you do won’t ever fully prepare you for the surprises along the way. Have faith that your network has good intentions, with positive happenstance a big part of your career transformation.

Think back to how you have found prior jobs. How often has happenstance factored into your past career transitions? I’ll wager that it has happened more often than not. It has for me, and it will again for you.

Summary

If the time is right for you to pursue a career transformation, make sure that you include assessment, test and learn, and planned happenstance strategies as you prepare to move forward. Start by knowing yourself better through the assessment methods I have listed in this blog.

Prepare the relevant stories of your past so others can believe in you, and actively support you in your future. Get out and experience on a small scale what you are considering doing so that you know the realities of your possible new career direction. Find new connections to guide you. Choose people who know your new direction first hand. Don’t just network with familar connections who might keep you handcuffed to a safe and familiar path.

And finally, trust that as much planning as you might do, the universe will surprise you with the gift of happenstance. You can not know it all, or control it all, by yourself. New opportunities will come your way if you let others reveal to you where your talents are needed. What does the world need from you next? Is it time to start preparing for your transformational journey?

July, 2017

The Minnesota State Capitol, pictured above, was extensively renovated over the past four years. In late June I took a tour to learn what has changed, and what is ahead for this amazing building. The parallels with our own aging, renewal and anticipation struck me, as I pondered this photo I took at the end of my tour. I’ll begin this blog with some reflections on how this story and scene compares with our future after 60. I will also offer some highlights from an upbeat June/July, 2017 AARP Magazine article entitled, What to expect in your 60s.

I like the idea of declaring a “reconstruction” period when a major life change is coming. For some, this reconstruction takes place in a matter of weeks or months. For many, it can stretch over years. With some luck, it takes four years to complete college. It has taken four years to complete the State Capitol renovation. Twice in the past eleven years I have begun a four year “reconstruction” period prior to a major change in my life and work.

Four years before starting my executive career transition consulting practice, I formed a Mastermind group. This group has been an invaluable partnership for professional development, support and success before and after my career transition. Our original eight solo coaching entrepreneurs have continued to meet monthly since 2006.

In anticipation of my 2019 transition to a portfolio life, I formed a True North Group. This group has also been a wonderful source of monthly support and guidance as we help each other chart our course towards a satisfying second half.

Both of these groups have been invaluable, as members have transitioned to their next chapters. Here is a link with some guidance on how to form your own support/strategy group.

There is an additional parallel between the State Capitol scene above and what is ahead for each of us. Do you see those menacing clouds on the left side of the photo? That anticipated storm never actually happened. What we feared that day never became a reality.

Most likely, some difficult times are ahead for each of us after age 60. The June/July AARP article suggests, however, that many of our fears about aging are exaggerated or unfounded. In reality, many of the hazards of aging might never happen in our 60s, or ever.

Here are some of the highlights from this article.

Wealth and Career

The Lowdown: Work finally becomes fun, retirement planning remains critical, and you are spending money like there’s no tomorrow. (Though there most certainly is.)

In your 60s you…

…aren’t afraid to make a late-career jump…

…have nearly a 20 percent chance of not retiring in your 60s…

…lead the nation in workforce growth…

…and even retirees are getting jobs for the fun of it.

Health

The Lowdown: You most likely have a good sex life and still enjoy a martini or two, but it’s time to pay closer attention to what goes into your body, and to keep closer tabs on pill and supplement intake.

Self

The Lowdown: You are mostly happy, are extremely engaged and prize your family above all. Nonetheless, you miss your work colleagues.

Be sure to take a look at this 60s article, and you can also click this link to see what is ahead for your 70s.

The photo above reveals much more than beauty, power and possible trouble ahead at the Minnesota State Capitol. It also tells a story that parallels our lives beyond age 60. This is a mature building that is about to complete its four year renovation. It is strong, beautiful inside and out, and ready for its decades of service ahead. A solid foundation and thoughtful renovation has given this building its good health and the prospect of an extended legacy. Here’s hoping for the same bright future for each of us after 60!

May, 2017

I heard over two hundred executive recruiter presentations during my two decades as an executive career transition coach at Right Management. Each month recruiters described their process and preferences. They shared why some job candidates advanced and others did not. I always appreciated the times they offered less obvious and even contrarian advice. In this blog, I’ll share four of my favorite contrarian suggestions.

1) Don’t spend too much time preparing.

Everyone attending our recruiter presentations was in a career transition, so comparing themselves with employed candidates was a common concern. Recruiters suggested that, while candidates should always be well prepared for an interview, their employed competition would rarely have the time to prepare as thoroughly as they could.

Candidates busy with their jobs, or with a broadly diversified job campaign, will inevitably have less time to research the details of a target company, industry and job. The consistent advice from recruiters was to do sufficient research and preparation, but spread yourself out. Explore many opportunities, and stay diversified in your networking and research. Don’t become myopic or obsessive about any one opportunity, and you’ll look and sound more like your employed competition.

2) Be discerning and not too positive during the interview.

Remember that if you are unemployed, or unhappily employed, you are vulnerable to being too positive about what looks like a solution to your employment situation. Prospective employers can sense when you are too positive and not discerning enough about an opportunity. The majority of your competition may be successful leaders who already have a good job. They will not relinquish that job unless the prospective employer can convince them the opportunity is an improvement to their current situation.

Recruiters and employers need to know that you are taking an objective look at both the job opportunity and their company. If you avoid discernment questions, or only see the positive, they will wonder why you are not sufficiently balanced in your assessment of them. Be diplomatic and lean toward the positive, but guard against being too positive or avoiding discernment. Do this and you will be seen as a more trustworthy candidate.

3) Take your eye off the ball.

One of my favorite tips comes from Marcia Ballinger, a highly regarded executive recruiter. She suggests that job candidates schedule a networking meeting one or two hours after the anticipated conclusion of a job interview. With an unrelated commitment later that day you will not be focused only on the job interview as your sole priority for that day or week.

It is common for job candidates to pour their entire energy supply and focus into one opportunity, especially while in transition or unhappily employed. If there are other meetings scheduled after the interview, then it forces one to act similarly to one’s employed competition.

4) Pursue a different opportunity

Recruiters will often ask, “Do you have any other opportunities right now?” If you do, your stock value will likely rise, and there is greater urgency to make sure they don’t lose you as a candidate. If you, or other candidates, don’t have other opportunities in the works, the process can easily bog down, as competing organizational priorities push the focus on a job opening aside.

Even if other opportunities might not make your “A” list, it is wise to still develop them for leverage purposes, interviewing practice, and because they might become more attractive over time. In the end, you can always turn an opportunity down at any time if it doesn’t look like a good fit.

Summary

If you are either unemployed, or unhappily employed, remember that most of your top competitors for future jobs will be employed, strong leaders. What can you learn from them? They have to juggle many competing priorities in their life and work. They can’t risk focusing too much time and energy on something that will take them away from other pressing priorities.

They know that they have the option to keep doing what they are doing, or seek advancement within their current company rather than take on a new opportunity. They also have the option of playing hard to get.

Consider that your competition may seem more authentic and attractive because they are moving in this direction. Could being less prepared, more discerning, less positive, or less singularly focused be a more effective strategy? Consider these “contrarian” ways. You might get some surprising results at your next job interview!

March, 2017

“Life is lived forward, but understood backwards.”
Søren Kierkegaard, Danish philosopher

This month I attended a week of training at the College of Executive Coaching. I studied positive psychology, appreciative inquiry and building on strengths in professional development coaching. In this month’s blog I will take you through two exercises inspired by these three areas of study.

The first will help you become reacquainted with your strengths and best stories through some appreciative self inquiry. The second exercise will have you rethinking what is ahead, using positive psychology and a reframing strategy that begins with looking backwards. These exercises will help you successfully move forward by first looking in your rear-view mirror.

Exercise 1: Prepare your top eight achievements

What have your life’s peak experiences taught you about when you are at your best? What have been your recurring talents and callings, and how might these past lessons shape your future direction? It might take several hours to complete this exercise, but if you are hoping to learn more about yourself and what you might be best suited to do in the future, begin by looking backwards at your top eight achievements. I ask each of my career transition clients to do this exercise. They sometimes protest that it will take too much time, then afterwards smile with the satisfaction of knowing themselves much better as a result.

Here is the assignment. Take a look back at your top eight work/life achievements. Name each, then create a spreadsheet that includes these items for each of the eight achievements: project name and date, challenge, actions, results, skills used, interests engaged, values present, lessons learned about yourself.

After completing this assignment, consider the implications. What are the recurring themes? What skills, interests and values do you hope to connect to the future needs of the market and/or community? Aristotle once said, “Our calling is the intersection of our talents and the needs of the world.” What are you called to do now? How can your historical achievements and talents inform your future direction?

Exercise 2: Remember the ride home

I will introduce you to this second exercise by sharing a story. Charlie Maxwell is the CEO of Meristem, a Twin Cities based financial services firm. Charlie’s job is extremely demanding, and he is also the father of triplets. His children all received early childhood development services from an organization named Fraser. When Charlie was asked to join the Fraser board, he quickly and whole heartedly agreed to do so.

Over time, Charlie became aware of a growing frustration caused by the demands of his work and family, combined with the time and energy required by the Fraser board and also serving as a Trustee of the Foundation at the Courage Kenny Rehabilitation Institute. He was most in touch with these frustrations on his trips in to his board and foundation meetings. On most rides home, however, Charlie would find himself feeling grateful for the choice he had made to serve in this way.

Charlie found a simple attitude adjustment as a method for alleviating these frustrations. He decided to remember his prior ride home on the ride to those meetings. From that point on, a broad smile appeared both to and from the meetings. Charlie has told me that he regularly shares this story with his staff, encouraging generosity as an ongoing expectation for everyone within his firm.

Whether going to a demanding meeting or a service commitment you might prefer to skip, try imagining the ride home on your ride in. Think of how you have felt at the end of similar past activities. Using this version of positive psychology can help you avoid negative energy, and remind you that what is ahead might be challenging and time consuming, but it will likely be rewarding as well. Predict a successful conclusion, and there is a good chance things will move in that direction.

Conclusion

Life is lived forward, but understood backwards. Søren Kierkegaard got it right. I have often thought of these words while listening to my clients’ life stories and reading the details of their top eight achievements. We all tend to be self critical as we evaluate our days, but consider the many ways that positive psychology and apreciative self inquiry can lift your spirits and strengthen your confidence.

Let’s not wake up each morning as Sisyphus, with that rock coming down each night after a day of pushing it up the hill. If you made progress yesterday, acknowledge it and begin the day with positive recollections and gratitute, not emptiness and futility. We are each builders and climbers, not Sisyphus. Apply what has been gained from your past accomplishments, strengths and learnings to whatever is next. Take a good look in your rear-view mirror, then be on your way!