Overcoming Insecurity
December, 2017
Insecurity can take away your feeling of self-worth and value in the world. Job loss or career dissatisfaction can lead to recurring waves of insecurity. In his December 23rd Star Tribune article, “Don’t give in to insecurity,” acclaimed psychotherapist Barton Goldsmith offered six strategies for overcoming insecurity. In this month’s blog I will reprint Goldsmith’s advice and link to my past blogs which expand on each topic.
1) Be kind to those who have a hard time socially. It will help you improve your own social skills and make you feel much better about yourself. When you extend a helping hand to someone, you are changing that person’s view of the world and telling that person that this world is a friendly place.
Related career care blogs: Leading With Generosity and Self-Protection , November, 2017 Balancing IQ and EQ, May, 2013
2) You can achieve greatness, but what does that really mean to you? If you’re someone who seeks fame and fortune, remember that the rewards are fleeting. Research has shown that those who are very ambitious and driven generally are less happy than their less-ambitious counterparts. If you’re in the first group, knowing that your drive can take away from the joy of life can help you maintain a balance.
Related career care blogs: Three Hundred Words That Inspired a Career Transformation , April, 2016 Success and Significance, June, 2015
3) Don’t try to fit in. You either do or you don’t, and you just have to find the right people, job or groove. If you are uncomfortable with a group of people or even just one person, think about why. Maybe the situation or the person is a reminder of a difficult time in your life and triggers uncomfortable feelings. That’s a normal response, but remember that the thing that upset you is over, and this new person, group of people, or place is different. You just may need a little time to get comfortable with it.
Related career care blogs: Finding Your Fit , February, 2015 Fit vs Talent , May, 2014
4) Spend some time with old friends. Remembering where you came from and knowing that at least some of the people who have known you forever still love you is not only heartwarming but empowering.
Related career care blogs: The Pursuit of Happiness On and Off the Job, May, 2015 The 20-Minute Networking Meeting, August, 2013
5) Draw a positive life map. Start at your childhood and list all the good things you’ve done in your life and that have come your way: when you went on your first camping trip, when you got an unexpected “A” at school, your success in sports or in the arts. Your first real job needs to go on the list, as well as when you were married and the births of your children. If good things have happened before, they will happen again.
Related career care blogs: Living Life Forward, Understanding it Backwards , June, 2012 Billy Crystal on Aging – His One Minute Wakeup Call Scene , March, 2015
6) When your other half expresses their love for you, bask in it. Knowing that you are loved can help you learn to love yourself more. Other people see our good qualities better than we do at times, so don’t let your own head convince you that you’re not good enough when you’re feeling low. Listen to the people you care for and who care for you.
Related career care blogs: Perseverence, Perspective and Peace of Mind , October, 2015 Fake It Till You Become It , September, 2013
I will leave you with these final words from Barton Goldsmith. “If deep down you know you are a good person, and you are in a rough patch, these tips will help you make it through. Learning to lift yourself up is a skill that will never let you down.”
